In childhood, many of us considered it a kind of compliment to listen to parents that friends and female friends would envy our new dress or toy. Time flew by, and now everyone understands that this feeling is far from being so attractive, because it literally gnaws envious people from within, forcing one to wonder how to get rid of envy and anger.
Black and white
It is believed that envy is black and white. White is a constructive feeling, it does not cause aggression, on the contrary, it makes others enjoy their success and strive to reach the same heights.
Black envy is destructive. It tends to generate anger, hatred, greed. This feeling makes you feel inferior, weak, impotent.
All forces go only to these destructive sensations, and not to the necessary thoughts and actions.
What is dangerous black envy?
Negative, which emanates from within, can poison a person, awakening anger and hatred in him. A bad mood, a vision of life through the prism of one’s own failures and disappointments, weakness and lack of vital energy are just the few things that black envy can cause.
Its main danger lies in the fact that the envious person is eliminated from society, self-isolates and, in a certain sense, becomes an inmate who looks angrily at each successful person.
All these facts make it clear that it is better not to envy anyone, because it is easier to get rid of black envy than to deal with its negative consequences.
Reasons for envy
According to psychologists, the first step in the fight against envy is the awareness of its underlying causes. Among them are:
- Uncertainty in their own capacities. Taking into account that any business that starts will end in failure, a person can not climb the career ladder, participate in a creative work, or succeed in their personal life.
- Dissatisfaction with yourself. It happens in people who see and are aware of their own deficiencies, but do not want to get rid of them. The real cause of anger in this case is banal laziness. It is easier for these people to envy in silence than to control themselves and start working on themselves.
- Cowardice and unwillingness to change something. Many people want to go with the flow, trusting in the will of destiny and chance. They do not know that you can not easily get the fish out of the pond. Fearing to change the existing way of life, a person is jealous of those who take and take the first steps towards their dreams.
- Orientation to the values of others. Without a doubt, following the generally accepted values can not make everyone happy. It is important to listen to yourself, to your inner desires and be guided by them when choosing a profession, life partner, self-realization methods.
- Inability to appreciate. Psychologists often say that it is very important to first learn to appreciate what you already have. Very often, our dissatisfaction becomes insatiable, we need more and more, like a greedy Raj from the fairytale Golden Antelope. Do you remember what the story ended?
- Dependence on public opinion. Trying not to look worse than others, a person literally takes advice and questions like: Do not you have children yet? Or you have not bought your own apartment yet? She begins to strive to satisfy these public questions, putting on her shoulders sometimes an unbearable burden, envying those who confront her without much difficulty.
- Vanity Sometimes people realize that successful people deservedly received certain benefits. You need to understand that to achieve success you have to sacrifice something. It is impossible to reach heights in all areas simultaneously and effortlessly.
Drive envy away
Envy is a very complicated feeling, it requires, above all, working with oneself. To understand how to get rid of feelings of envy, you must overcome your fears and doubts, put aside laziness and anger aside and eliminate the elimination of your own weaknesses.
What specific actions can be taken?
- You have to stop concentrating on your faults. Nothing that a neighbor lives richer, but has an extraordinary mind and will soon reach unprecedented levels in the field of science. Such arguments will make envy come out and awaken self-esteem.
- Perceive your faults appropriately. There is no ideal in the world. Do not try to succeed in everything. As you know, the hunter, chasing two hares, did not catch one. Do not let yourself be like him, pay more attention to those areas in which you are most interested.
- Take a positive Never wish evil on people, it will surely come back like a boomerang. Being able to sincerely rejoice in the success of someone else. Get rid of the evil in the mind and heart.
- Overcome self-centeredness Try to understand that your own Self is just another person’s, you do not need to think that your happiness is much more important than the happiness of other people. Mentally, put yourself in the place of another person, develop a feeling of empathy and empathy, try to realize that each person wants something.
- Evolve To not look like a loser or a weak person, fight for development. Do not stay still and learn something new every day, showing, first of all, that nothing is impossible.
- Be true to yourself. Each person chooses their own path. It is impossible to live a happy life, walking along the path already beaten by someone. Do not compare the path of your life with that of another person, because each one has its own advantages and disadvantages.
Only a person who thinks and is ready to work on himself can get rid of people’s envy. If you have already asked this question, it means that the first step has already been taken.
Now you need to understand the causes and work hard to eliminate them. Do not stop and work constantly on yourself, then you simply will not have time for envy.