In the life of each family, at a certain time, it is necessary to teach the little man to sleep without the help of adults. Often, this period is accompanied by childhood tears and fatigue of the parents.
Today we will talk about one of the most controversial ways of putting babies to bed: the Ferber Method.
In 1985, the American scientist Richard Ferber published the book Solve his son’s sleep problem. Parents, pediatricians and sleep specialists (specialists in sleep disorders) were divided into two camps: some fully approved the proposed method, others argue that it causes irreparable damage to children.
Which of them is right?
Ferber method – the main provisions
The author proposes to leave the baby alone in bed, while behind the door. If he does not find his mother nearby, he begins to roar and scream, he must return after the approved time intervals, calm him down without taking the pens.
Then, Mommy shows that she is close, takes care of her baby, right now he has to fall asleep alone.
To achieve this goal, adults must observe several important conditions.
- The use of the method should be postponed if the children have teeth, belly pain or fever. If the crumbs have a serious illness, it is necessary to consult a doctor.
- The age of the child – from six months and older.
- In the next two weeks, the baby should sleep at home until he develops a new habit. Therefore, give up overnight stays with your grandmother.
- Moving from the parent room to the daycare center before learning this method, on the other hand, can help children transfer changes more easily.
- At the beginning of the application, it is important to create a daily regimen and establish a clear sleep time.
- An important factor is the consent of both spouses and other relatives, their total tranquility and the desire to reach the bitter end.
How to put the child to sleep according to Ferber’s method?
Write a plan in advance, indicating in it, at what intervals of time you will enter the daycare to comfort the baby. At the beginning, the waiting time should be minimal: no more than three minutes, then you can increase it gradually.
Concentrate on your maternal sense, the main thing: to comply with the planned calendar, so that the success of the company is not in danger.
What else do parents need to know?
- Pay close attention to the baby before bedtime. If you have not entered into the ritual of falling asleep before, now is the time to do it. For example: dinner, read a fairy tale, quiet games, water treatments, sleep.
- Get rid of all the old “helpers” who previously contributed to falling asleep (lullaby, motion sickness, mannequin, chest). The last feeding should occur half an hour before going to bed.
- After the evening ritual, kiss the baby, let him lie down and wish you a pleasant sleep. When he goes to bed, he repeats the same thing every day, for example: “Good evening, honey, it’s time to sleep.” Then leave the daycare.
- Most likely, the baby will feel indignant: he will scream loudly and cry. Of course, standing outside the door and listening to the crying of your beloved child is not an easy task. Return to the previously prepared schedule, take three minutes on the clock and try to hold on.
- After a certain time, go to the room and try to calm the crying child. Repeat once more that it is time for the bainki. Speak with him in a firm and confident voice. Categorically it is impossible to get out of bed, take pens or give a pacifier. Your stay should not last more than two minutes.
- Continue to act according to the approved plan: go to the baby at regular intervals. Repeat the previous steps until you fall asleep. If the crumb does not cry, but moans silently, it is better not to disturb it once more.
- Try to reduce waiting periods if they seem too long. Richard Ferber argued that in this case too, the use of his technique will necessarily be crowned with success.
- If this option seems too hard, try to stay in the baby’s room until the baby falls asleep. Walk towards him again according to the plan, then sit in a chair so the child can see him. At a minimum, you will be sure that the child is not crying out of fear, but because he did not get what he wanted.
- If the child becomes ill during habituation, be sure to stop using the Ferber method. After the recovery, start over. There’s nothing wrong with that, you can go back to training several times.
During the application of this technique, it is necessary to wake up the children in the morning and in the afternoon (the method is also suitable for sleeping during the day) at the usual time for them.
Of course, after the night “battle”, the baby wants to sleep a little longer, but there is a risk that at night he will stay vigorous and active and, again, he will not want to fall asleep without a mother.
Ferber Method: Pros and Cons
This method of independent sleep has its own advantages and disadvantages.
The undoubted advantages of the Ferber method include:
- The child develops a resistant habit of going to bed at a certain time.
- Parents now do not spend much effort, time and nerves to calm the baby, just put him in the crib and leave the room.
- When they wake up at night, the children are in the family environment of their room, so they will not cry or call mom, and soon they will fall asleep alone.
By against the experts include the following points:
- This method should not be used by parents without will power or iron restriction: once you have manifested weakness, you will have to start from scratch
- The agreement between the spouses is necessary, if the mother or the father does not tolerate the crying and crying of the children, this method must be abandoned.
- Critics argue that this approach destroys the child’s basic trust in parents and causes fears to the outside world.
In her opinion, babies still can not understand that they need to fall asleep at a strictly defined time.
If the child stopped crying, that does not mean he has guessed the need to sleep. He was tired of shedding tears and was desperate to get help from his beloved mother.
In addition, Dr. Leach is confident that the incessant crying causes an excessive release of the stress hormone that can damage the brains of children.
It is quite difficult to implement the Ferber method in practice, since not all parents will be able to withstand the strong and long roar of their son.
To choose this technique or not, only your decision. Remember that your main task is to give your child the opportunity to rest without harming their psychological health.