Any woman dreams of raising her son a real man. However, often some children become mother’s children.
More terrible is not this unpleasant “title” in itself, but the fact that incorrect methods of parenting can affect the future of the child.
Having matured, he becomes childish, insecure, incapable of actions. Where do mom’s kids come from and how to avoid the mistakes that cause such serious consequences?
Of course, a ladybug is not a genetic predisposition, but only a consequence of the inadequate educational policy of mothers.
It is the parents who are to blame for the fact that a pathological connection is formed between them and their children, which is very difficult to break. How does this happen?
In order for active children to become mother’s children, we need a certain psychological environment in which they live.
Where do mom’s children come from?
In most cases, the parents are absent or present in the children’s lives purely symbolically, being rejected by their spouses.
However, the exact opposite is true: a person of weak will who fulfills all his whims, an infinitely loyal person, grows.
The mother not only pleases her son infinitely or is jealous of potential brides. The most important thing for such a mother is to develop a psychological dependence on the child.
Difficult pregnancies, difficult births and a child health problem in the first months of life lead to the fact that a woman seeks all the means to care for and protect her child.
Mom’s child: the consequences of education.
Such hyper-care soon causes irreversible changes in the character and socialization characteristics of children. We listed several obvious consequences of raising a mother’s child.
- The child, accustomed to the fact that the mother does everything for him, does not particularly strive for independence and independence. Often, the child learns carelessly, and the choice of the institute also falls on the shoulders of his mother. It is difficult for him to achieve significant results in any type of activity, since he often leaves a business that has just started.
- Mama’s children find it difficult to communicate with other people, they overlook big companies, because they feel comfortable only with their mothers. As a result, the sphere of communication is essentially limited: close relatives and friends of mom.
- Adult men often experience serious difficulties with girls. They do not get married for long, and if they find the second half, that union can not be called happy. The mother-in-law interferes constantly in the affairs of the daughter-in-law, believing that she does not care enough for her son.
How to know if you are raising a mother’s child?
We offer women to look at themselves and understand if their natural maternal love for the child has become a strong psychological addiction. You can learn this through several subtle moments that are not visible at first sight.
- The word “we”. Mom says about her and the child only “we”: “we believe it”, “we want”. If this is natural enough for mummies with babies, then at a more adult age a separation should occur in two separate independent personalities.
- Mom is always there. Wherever the child is, the mother is always close by or tries to create a sense of her own presence. Often, she gets a job as a babysitter or nanny in the garden where her baby goes. Then he can move after him and to school. Such a father rarely lets his son go to the shelter, preferring it to be “in front of his eyes”.
- Emphasized attention. The iron rule guides the mother: “No one but me.” She chooses socks and panties for her beloved son. As a general rule, your house is in perfect order, because the “baby” loves comfort, but it is not cleaned after it. For him, he will be a father.
- Protection of any problem. Mom does not allow anyone to speak ill of her child, even if she behaves inappropriately. “Others are always to blame for everything” is the beginning of his life. A child can only be wrong if he does not obey his mother.
How not to raise a ladybug?
Psychologists say that re-educating a minor will not work.
An adult person is already psychologically formed, therefore, a woman who is “lucky” to fall in love with a man of this type will have to endure the fact that there will not be two in her family, but three.
How to avoid such problems?
With great regret, if an affectionate mother does not realize that she has “grown together” excessively with her son, she did not cut a kind of psychological umbilical cord, then no expert will help her.
If a woman recognized herself in our article and wishes to change the situation, we offer several useful tips.
- For the child did not grow the child of mom, it is important to get involved in the education of his father. The child should see a pattern of male behavior. If the mother only educates the child, then it is necessary to provide her dialogue with the male relatives: grandparents, uncles, godparents.
- You can not criticize the spouse in the presence of a child. The woman will not be able to raise the child “real man”, taking her husband under the heel. The son should consider the head of the family as a protector, a winner and an idol. If the spouse does not reach this characteristic, the relationship should be clarified in the absence of children.
- Of course, it is necessary to protect a young child from the dangers of the world. However, we must not forget the upbringing in the baby and independence. To do this, you must allow the child to learn from his mistakes and mistakes. Does he carelessly make the bed and wash the dishes carelessly? So be it, but he himself!
- It is very important to assign time and love. It can be a variety of activities unrelated to early childhood education. For example, give shape, read books (not for child development), learn a foreign language, cross stitch (just for beauty), communicate with girlfriends. You need to spend more time with your spouse, otherwise you can feel like a third person in the relationship of your wife and child.
- It is impossible to remind the Chad how difficult it is to educate him, in which he owes his unpaid debt to his mother. No one argues that raising a child is a difficult job, but it is not yet heroism. Each woman sacrifices something for her baby: figure, career, sleep, etc. However, this is not a reason to blackmail love and filial duty.
You have to let the son go, a complicated thought, but this is the only way to raise him as a happy person. The love, support and attention of the mother will not go anywhere, they only need to be dosed so that they do not damage their obsession.
The unspent tenderness of the mother will always have time to throw away her grandchildren.