Every responsible parent wants to raise an intelligent, decent and talented child. However, in a process as important as the education of children, many adults are wrong: they use radical influence measures or, on the contrary, let everything take its course.
Do you think your educational methods are correct? We offer TOP-10 common mistakes from parents that most moms and dads commit from time to time.
Psychologists have made an interesting observation: parents often tend to protect their children from the difficulties of life.
Without frustration, children grow up in greenhouse conditions, because they do not have the skills to face difficulties. Therefore, adults are harmful to the child, although they believe that they are doing it solely for their own interests.
So, what other mistakes do parents make often?
Error number 10. Worship before children.
Many moms and dads try to be perfect parents. They satisfy all the caprices of their offspring: I liked the new toy, they get it to order, I want a chocolate bar more, please!
Of course, any child likes this behavior of adults, because everyone revolves around him.
And yet, you should not bow to your child, it is much more useful and more important just to love him. Of course, for every father, his son is the center of the Universe, but he himself should not be perceived in this way, otherwise, there is a risk of educating the selfish hardened.
Error number 9. Believe in the fact that your child is perfect
Very often, child specialists (psychologists, teachers, educators, counselors) can hear that modern parents are not prepared to accept negative comments about their children. After learning about behavioral problems or development, moms and dads emit hostile or even aggressive reactions.
Of course, the truth may hurt, but the ability to listen to the recommendations of specialists often helps keep the situation out of control. Early intervention is key because it can change the child’s development.
Therefore, if the doctor tells you that the baby is behind the program or is misbehaving, try to draw conclusions about the child, not the teacher.
Error number 8. Lack of time.
Another common slip of parents: the lack of free time to communicate with the crumbs.
Despite the wide range of responsibilities, constant employment at home and at work, the needs of children should not be forgotten. The child desperately needs the attention of the mother and father.
Some adults believe that raising a child often fits some simple things: taking him to a kindergarten or school, buying clothes or a toy and cooking a tasty lunch. However, this is not enough, because all children need warm communication, the feeling that they love him and value his presence.
Try to find time for leisure together: see a cartoon, take a walk in the park. Then the child will not feel abandoned.
Error number 7. Inconsistency in education.
Sometimes adults, for various reasons, change the requirements, allowing today what was prohibited yesterday. In such a situation, children are lost and they no longer know how to behave, and from what actions it is better to abstain.
Psychologists have repeatedly pointed out that the requirements for preschoolers must be consistent and the same in all households. Young children are easily accustomed to maneuvering between parents and grandmothers, giving preference to the family members that grant them the best privileges.
If you do not want a young manipulator to appear, try to develop uniform requirements.
Error number 6. Charges and threats.
Do you remember how often you blame a child for raising a bad child, constantly doing something wrong? Maybe at this moment good intentions guide you, but some children are very sensitive to the charges and begin to withdraw themselves.
Constant negative affirmations can significantly reduce children’s self-esteem.
Threats and intimidation are also not capable of anything good.
Such words lead to fears, fear of loneliness, a sense of discomfort. Find other forms of more human disciplinary action.
It is impossible to threaten the deprivation of love!
Error number 5. Many prohibitions.
The prohibitions are very useful and extremely necessary for the upbringing of a child, especially if they refer to physical and psychological security.
However, their excess supply often leads to the opposite result: the little ones start to lie, trying to avoid strict punishment.
Try to introduce several categorical prohibitions that children must comply with. For example, it may be a requirement not to run to the road, handle fire and electricity with care.
If a young child does not yet understand the detailed explanations, then the preschooler can and should be explained, which is why he prohibits this or that action.
Error number 4. Restriction of independence.
In each age period (with the exception of childhood), children can already do something on their own. Of course, the limits of independence are conditional and depend to a large extent on the level of development, character traits and temperament of the child, but there are still certain rules.
For example, an older preschooler can put on his shoes and dress himself, so he should not do it for him. Allow 20 minutes more than you to fasten your jacket, but CAM will be on.
Error number 3. Excessive expectations.
Many adults dreamed of becoming great musicians, painters or soccer players in childhood. By becoming parents, they begin to change unrealized fantasies to their children, sending them to various centers, circles and development sections.
Of course, comprehensive education is important to become a successful person. However, not all children appreciate such parenting efforts.
And very often, an imaginary bright future, drawn in the fantasy of moms and dads, breaks down the child’s reluctance to do, for example, sports.
That is why it is necessary to take into account not only their preferences and interests, but also the wishes of the children. And filling the crumbs of free time with various activities, do not forget that he has his own personal affairs.
Error number 2. Mood mood
Unfortunately, we are not all perfect and, at times, we relieve the children, tired of problems in the workplace, bad relationships with the spouse.
Many adults believe that there is nothing terrible about this. After all, you can always make amends by buying a new toy.
However, psychologists are sure: for the development in children of a sense of security and a basic trust in the world around them, parents must control their emotions. By tearing younger family members out of a bad mood, you risk losing your self-confidence.
And it’s very difficult to return it, expensive toys will not help here either.
Error number 1. Indifference.
Sometimes the parents do not consider it necessary to make an effort, to discuss with the child, to look for arguments, to show him something. They are convinced that children themselves must learn to solve their problems.
However, one should not confuse such a position with the desire to cultivate an independent personality in this case, adults just want to be left alone.
Feeling the coldness and alienation of the people closest to them, the children begin to commit reckless acts, verifying how much their parents love them. It’s great that the child always remembers that there are people who care about how he lives and what he does.
And, finally, the most important thing in raising a child is your personal example. Popular wisdom says: “It is useless to raise children, because they will always look like you. Try to educate yourself. “
That is, it is impossible to demand from the baby what you can not do.